donderdag 7 juli 2011

Dark Side of the Gloom

Tijd om nog eens wat teksten op deze blog te zwieren. Hieronder enkele flarden tekst - laat ik het niet 'gedichten' noemen. Sommige teksten ("Valley of Shame" en "Pillars") heb ik als 'lyrics' gebruikt voor enkele nummers van The Sordid House of Eternal Putrefaction, mijn muzikaal projectje.

IT’S A RELIEF
There’s only darkness
There is no light
When things go really wrong
Then all is night

You cry like a thunderstorm
You wail and you rage
A blood clot in your heart
In your library a burning page

Time doesn’t seem to heal
Neither do family or friends
What for others isn’t a big deal
For you is how all ends


GONE
To be gone
To be really gone
Seems like an island in the sun

To stop here and now
And let it all end
To replace life with void

To draw a line
To close the box
To kick the stool

Lower and lower
No fire in this new hearth
Darkness as a relief

As the sands flutter down
You know that it has ended
And that you have ceased to be


VALLEY OF SHAME
Mountains hide your eyes from the sun
Where mountains fail, dark clouds take over
They’re like sorrows absorbing the rays
I want to reach higher, but the pit is too deep
Debasing rain fills the pit with water
Waters of guilt and shame and pain
Taking on some sort of colour
But it’s impossible to detect which one
Freezing water holding me paralysed
Cold knives of guilt nailing me to the ground
Water like poison invading my body
I go mad with desire for the sun
Who wouldn’t want to exchange
Suffocating truths for candid lights
But there is no such thing
As climbing up a mountain
With your feet nailed to the ground
And eventually we all drown
In the rising water
And it is nobody’s fault but ours
The water tap is in our own possession


DEATH OF A PEOPLE
A room of DARKNESS invading my soul
My body my brain my skin my mind
Black as the moon the day after the apocalypse
Black as an inkpot drowning in a sea of oil
As the sun sets to never rise again
My moon is black as a decayed soul
My soul is black as a faded moon
And slowly our ears will fill with dust
Our nose will be strangled by the darkness of the soul
We perish, we languish, we fade away
We die and it was about bloody time


VEIL OF SORROW
And now, as outside the sun is shining
Everything is black
A thick veil of sorrow covers anything cheerful
And imposes darkness to those underneath
No sunbeam has the power to intrude
No songbird can break the sound barrier
Shatterproof and secure, it separates me from joy
Eventually I die
Absorbed in a sea of grief
And regret


DEGENERATION
An implosion is drawing near
As the human intellect is shrinking
There is no turning back
If man dies, he dies dumb

From Eden to Human to Eloi
But when was our apogee?
As for now, we have long passed it
We will not escape our fate

Going back to zero
Or way beyond it
If you listen very well
You can almost hear
Your brain shrinking
And shrinking
And shrinking
And shrinking
And shrinking

Great thinkers are becoming rare
Mediocrity is all what's left
The wish for fame
Most preferably without any content

This is slow intellectual suicide
A devolution of the mind
But this does not matter
As long as we're all happy
As long as we're all happy


INFERNO
I would never advice you
To descend into my soul
If you don’t like pain and misery
Keep away from this gloomy hole

It would burn off your feet
It would torture your mind
It would make you wanna kill yourself
But you don’t want to die

It would rip you up in pieces
You would drown in my black sea
Keep away, but do consider
That all of this does happen to me

IN-VAIN-SUN-INVASION
Light invades the dark room
A new day scares away the gloom
But I don’t feel like getting out of bed
I’d rather do the impossible than get up instead

The room is pierced with sunbeams
But I try to turn away
An hour’s walk would be nice, it seems
But really not today

All the light from a thousand suns
Would still not be enough
To pervade this aching heart of darkness
A shattered victim of love


WHAT WOULD PROBABLY BE THE HARDEST THING TO DO FOR A POET OR JUST ANYONE WHO TRIES TO GET HIS OR HER FEELINGS ONTO A PIECE OF PAPER IS ALL DESCRIBED IN THE FOLLOWING POEM ALTHOUGH IT ISN’T MUCH OF A POEM RATHER A REFLEXION AT ONE PARTICULAR MOMENT ON A WEDNESDAY EVENING ABOUT THE NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TASK OF WRITING DOWN YOUR TRUE FEELINGS ON A PIECE OF PAPER THIS HOWEVER FAR FROM BEING IMPOSSIBLE IS ONLY NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A HARD THING TO DO YET IF YOU SUCCEED YOU PROBABLY WON’T FEEL RELIEVED AFTER THE EXERCICE BECAUSE AS YOU’RE LOOKING AT YOUR POETIC CREATION YOUR TRUE FEELINGS YOUR TRUE EMOTIONS YOUR TRUE PROBLEMS ARE STARING YOU RIGHT IN THE EYES AND MAKING YOU FEEL EVEN MORE DEPRESSED STILL IT WOULD BE QUITE AN EXPERIMENT SO I WOULD ADVICE YOU ALL TO TRY IT FIRST READ THIS POEM THOUGH YOU’RE ALREADY ALMOST AS FAR AS FINISHING ITS TITLE WHICH BY THE WAY YOU HAVE FINISHED READING NOW
How much longer before I yield
To this unremitting feeling
Of overexaggerated zeal
To talk, to scream, to sing
To write down how I really feel
To get a piece of paper
And fill it with something other than lies?
Quite sure that it would be sincere
But it surely wouldn’t be nice



My heart is dying
Bring out the bier
It’s pining away
For you’re not here

No kiss, no touch
No intimate hug
What is this sublime power
Ravaging our luck?

O! Find us a new power
Equally potent and strong
To bring us close together
Together we belong

But now I linger in sadness
And darkness is where I dwell
O! Bring my love back here with me
To end this constant hell


pIllars
All pillars are burned down but one
Standing in the corner of my temple
Likely to collapse any diseased minute now
And there are no handlebars whatsoever
Nothing to hold on to, to tame the chaos

I think I’m lost in the nothingness of all
Any sense of direction is irrelevant now
And my heart is a furnace
Wildly burning not with passion
But empty as the night, in full despair


WHAT'S THE USE
What’s the use of hope when
The moment it flares up in a
Highly self-depreciative and
Pessimistic mind when it finally
Takes root after all those months
Of negativity and of instability
Of haunting blues and imposing
Chaos it has in stead of growing
Into an impressive oak of glory
Certainty joy and lust for life
Been trampled underfoot and
Crushed into a lifeless something
Utterly obliterated wiped away
From existence shattered into
What’s merely a dim recollection
Of hope once legitimate in such a
Way that the mere doubt of its
Power and legitimacy would have
Seemed very bold and gloomy what’s
The use then of hope if it’s somehow
Already dead and gone the moment
It takes root yearning to become an oak


COLD AS EYES 
The pale blue of my eyes
Which has been subject to
Many a compliment in vain
Is nothing but a superficial veil
To a vast darkness and pain
A burned prairie, scarred and
Charred by the teasing fire of life
No sunlight reflects in these dark
Dark eyes, no light, no love, no
Life, only the infinite result of
Years and years of mental torture
And grave frustration, continually
Expanding and expanding, and what
Would a simple tear, drawn from this
Immense wilderness of wailing, look like?
It would be venomous, without any doubt,
And utterly destructive, for only a drop
Of this black blood of sorrow would kill
A world full of joy, love and happiness
For it wouldn’t tolerate any of the above
What you lack is what you hate

LAND OF THE FREE 
So tell me are you filled with glee
When you consider how society
Has evolved into this nightmare
But are you even aware
That this is all because of thee
You and your passivity

It’s not easy to think something through
When leaders tell you what to do
You tend to stand up and do as they say
Your beloved high society considers astray
Anyone who might think it wrong
To suggest that the other doesn’t belong
In here and has to be considered antisocial
Rationality prevails, let’s do away with the emotional
In this modern society, so proper and pure
Shallow sheep wait for the dissidents to cure

Equality, how disastrous a notion
When it casts out freedom and emotion
How dull and insincere an idea indeed
When it’s all the same dreary people you meet
No ingenuity, all is similar and grey
Originality smothers in the do-what-they-say

Have you seen Thomas lately?
It’s been ages since I saw
This brave and unique genius
Is he finally done in by the law?
How cruel a fate would that be
He fought for his ideal
He didn’t mean any harm to you
He failed in his ordeal
It wasn’t ever meant to be
The pressure was too strong
But did he ever try to flee
The place where he belongs?
He’d rather die – he said to me
And so, it seems, he did
And now, in the name of liberty
All candles must be lit
Goodbye, defender of our cause
Your life was hard and tough
They won’t control us much longer now
Farewell, martyr of forbidden love!





Quiet despair is worse at night
When darkness thrives on fear
How long have I been waiting
And still you are not here
The smother holds a tighter grip
It suffocates my heart
I watch the hours go by
And wonder how you are
I know you sleep in a safe bed
I know it could be worse
Quick, let your heart fly into mine
And stop this ice-cold curse

after: The Cure - At Night





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