I regained my virginity
On a boattrip to Boston.
Boastful and belligerent,
You know what boys are like.
David, Frank, Ashton and I
Sailing to the lighthouse,
Looking out for spermwhales,
Spotting only hunchbacks.
Mark was there too,
But he and I were history.
Having changed my likings
I only had eyes for Candy,
Swimming in the mirrored blue sky,
Smiling and winking at me,
Making my heart stop beating,
Putting my pulsating prong in motion,
Inviting me to join her in the cold water,
With David emptying his bladder,
Whistling some forgotten cowboy song.
Eventually Mark got seasick,
So we threw him overboard,
Where he reached out to the white waves
And the shivering Sheila of the ocean,
Dallying with her new found friend,
Like two frolicking foals in a moist meadow,
Entangled as two seahorses,
Frisky as fish, skittish as seagulls.
Her beautiful lips, his urging pelvis,
His wet hairdo, showy as Elvis.
I damned that sexy seamonster,
Who left my third leg limp and useless,
And as I vowed sweet revenge,
I knew that neither Adam nor Eve
Would ever find their way to my heart again.
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